The terrible Twosome!
by su19981013
Summary: Heymans Breda and Jean Havoc Think back to there childhood.
1. Chapter 1

**There aren't enough fanfics dedicatted to Heymans Breda and Jean Havoc!**

**To put it simply there flippen awesome! i don't know why there arn't very many fics about them!**

**I decided to make a fic about How the terrible-two-some met each other! **

**there is NO yaoi (or yuri!)sorry if i got your hopes up!**

**It is rated K+ for slight swearing in the l**

I do noy own fma, Havoc or Breda(too bad ) But Claudo drake von Bread and Vincent O'suliven Breda (and fluffy!) where charcters i made up for the story! (im not good at naming people!)

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><p>"AHHHHHHHH" a voice screamed. "GE-GE-GET AWAY FROM MEEE!"<p>

"the time:0600hours. " Another voice said. "I Jean Havoc will attempt to save the damsell in distress."

"AHHH HELP ME!"

"What was that? Fear not fair maiden!"

Jean Havoc .8 years of age. He was fairly Tall of a boy for his had blonde messy hair which was thick with mud ,dirt and grese. His eyes where Big And a madjestic Sky-blue in colour. He was wearing Blue tracksuit bottoms and a tight black Vest. Also he was holding two water pistols ,one in each hand. Jean stood with his chest puffed outwards (to make him appear more muscular) and he had a large heroic grin upon his face.

"Maiden where are you?" Jean cried.

"UP HERE!" The boy screamed. To scared to admit that he wasn't a maiden.

Jean looked upwards. His face dropped as he realised it was no Maiden. "Wh-why are.. you up there!"

"Its-its on the loose there's nothi'n protecting us ov-over there!" (hehe fma series 1 ep 13 referance!) A chubby finger pointed towards the beast.

"woof!"

"AHHHH GET IT AWAY!"

"What? This is fluffy. Its my neighbours dog. It wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"YEAH A FLY! IM NO FLY!"

Havoc patted 'fluffy' on the head. But Havoc-being-Havoc he pointed his water pistol at its head. Just before he pulled the trigger the dog ran off wagging its tail .

"Anyways. How did you get up there?" Havoc questioned.

"B-bu-bu by climbing of course." The boy said as he he clung onto a tree branch.

"Well i don't think the branch will hold out much longer!"

He was right the branch was bending due to the boys excess weight.

"I think you better come down chubster!"

"Sh-shut up! The d-d-d-dogs will get me!"

"Its 6 in the morning i doubt that there are any other dogs around! Unless you run into a farmer herding his sheep?"

"Well- Well- Well you never kno- AH!" .

The branch snapped.

The boy landed on his butt with a 'thud'. "Oww my butt." The chubby boy said.

"You ok? Havoc said as he put out his hand to help him up off the floor. "Yeah thanks for scaring that 'beast' away for me!"He said as he dusted his clothes off.

The boy put his hand out "Jean Havoc wasn't it? Im Heymans Breda! Nice ta meet you!"

Breda was the avarege height for an 8 year was about half a head shorter than havoc. But was quite a bit overweight. maybe evan a tad bit Obese...He was at least twice the size of Havoc. He had Short scruffy red hair. And was wearing white shorts and a baggy Navy green t-shirt.

"Nice ta met you to Breda!"

Havoc didn't know any other boys his age that lived in the countryside. So he shook Bredas hand with ease.

"Where 'bouts do you live then Breda?" Havoc asked.

"Acorn Avenue. Just 4 streets away from here! What about you?"

"B-but i live on Acorn Avenue to...My parents own the general store at the end of Acorn Avenue!"

Both the boys puzzled over how in there 8 years on this planet neither of them had met each other.

"Wait. My tutors called Claudo Drake Von Breda...You know him?"

Due to living in the country side the nearest schools are miles away. Which means having to spend money on the train ride there every day Or simply hiring a nearby tutor for half the price.

"Infact i do!Thats my brother...weird name ein't it? My Parents aren't exactly great at naming there kids!" Heymans chuckled.

"Not really Hey-mans!" Havoc laughed.

Both of the boys started to laugh when they where interupted "Jean you there? I need you to go get some supplies for me!" A women shouted.

"Yes Mum!" He shouted back. "Carrying supplies is a hard job for one man wanna help Breda?"

"Sure!" Breda replyed.

The boys both went to the train station to pick up several crates of vegatables, Milk and Toiletries. Havoc tried to pick up the crate of vegtables, But failed. He pushed and pulled but could get it to move, "You wanna little help?" Breda asked politely.

"No im perfectly fine!Im just not used to such big parcells!"

Breda laughed as he watched Havoc struggle But soon afterwards he lifted the Package up like it was as light as a pea.

"*Huff**puff* How did you do that?" Havoc said wearily.

"My fathers high in military command. He taught me some stuff. And we have plenty of weight lifting equipment at home so im kinda used to it."

"But if you lift weights why are you fat?" Havoc joked. But the joke barely made Breda laugh.

Breda put one hand on his stomach and stated"IM NOT FAT THIS IS MUSCLE!" There was a slight pause. "Well maybe it isn't...But Thats for me to know and you to find out. Anyways Do you want me to leave the Package's here for you to deal with?" Breda said sturnly.

"No -no -don't go! PLLLEEEAASSE!" Havoc got onto his hands and knees and begged. But Breda just ignored him and picked up the milk Package with his other arm and walked of in the direction home."Are you coming or not?"

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><p><strong>Hope you like chapter 1! please review feel free to critisize !<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

**I do not own fma. But i hope you like it anyways.**

**This is set 3 years after the previous. And Breda and Havoc have just Started secondary school.(year 7****)**

**(Dont know what that is in America i think its middle school?)**

**There is swearing in this chapter! yay who doesn't love to swear!**

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><p>"Oh Jean. You look so strapping and 'ansome in your school uniform. Im gonna miss You Honey! " Jeans Mother cried as she hugged her son around his shoulders.<p>

Jeans Mother Had decided to send her son off to a school in central. "But Mum Its not **TO** Far away. And I'll come back to visit on Most Weekends!" Jean said whilst her mum Kissed his cheek about 20 times.

Jean Havoc. 12 Years of age. His sky-blue eyes didn't look so big on his long pointed face anymore. He was still a tall boy. He was about 5ft10. His body didn't do him any favours though. He was 'Lanky'. No matter how much he may try to get a muscular one. He just seem's to get thinner and thinner. Which didn't help when carrying packages to-and-from the shop. His skinny arms couldn't hold them without hurting. He always needed help from Breda.

Jean scanned platform Once over. "Where the flip' is he?" Jean murmured to himself. "Jeanie-kins!" His mother starts to cry again as she hugs her son's slim waist. "Mum seriously! Im not a little kid anymore!"Jean says as he blushes a little.

"Yo Jeanie-kins!" A voice Joked. Jean knew who it was in an instant.  
>"Shut up Brady-kins!"<p>

"AH Brady-kins! Why didn't I think of that!" Heymans mother squealed As she struggles to hug her sons ample waist.

Jean looked upwards at Breda's freakishly tall father. He towered above everyone. He was at least 7ft tall. He was also a rather 'Large' man, Like Breda, he was rather fat. But his arms were of pure muscle. He wore a blue military outfit. Which proudly showed his stars and stripes. He looked down at his son, Placed one large hand on his shoulder and said "Son, I hope you do the Breda family proud. But...Try to lose a little weight while your at school, Ok?"

"Well we all know that's never gonna happen!"Heymans Breda whispered to Jean with a joke-y tone to his Voice. His weight had never bothered him in the slightest,In fact sometimes he even joked about it himself.

Heymans Breda. 12 Years of age. He was also Tall ,But not as tall as Jean. He was around 5ft 7-8 ish. His body didn't do him any favours either. He was 'stocky', His older (Slimmer) Brothers had always joked about it. It started as slight bullying and poking and prodding, but then they didn't do it as much as they could see it didn't seem to bother Heymans as much as they wanted. His body rebelled most physical activity. But he was always able to help his friend Jean out with carrying packages.

"Oh my Plump-kin-pie!Your fine the way you are honey!" Heymans mother squealed As his father frowned at the mother in disagreement. Heymans looked Pissed off as he mouthed the word " Do Not Laugh Or I'll Fucking Well Kill You!" Jeans face was red from trying not to laugh. He thought 'Jeanie-kins' was bad. But 'Plump-kin-pie' "Ha his parents were even worse at giving there kids nick-names than actually naming there kids." He thought to himself.

This was all interrupted by a short portly guy in a black suit blowing a whistle and shouting "The train is now departing for central!"

"OH CRAP!" Jean and Heymans shouted . They bid there fair-wells to there parents quickly and murmured several profanities to themselves as they ran towards the moving train. Jean grabbed the bar and span inwards and held his had out to help his mate with the jump as he knew he wouldn't be able jump that high without a little help!

the two fell into the train and sighed. "Thanks Havo"  
>"No problaymo Braidey"<p>

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><p>"Flippin'- No Fucking hell! Its huge!" Havoc said. "Thats a hell of a lot-ta stairs!" Havoc exclaimed.<br>"about 1410" Breda moaned  
>"What?"<br>"Theres about 1410 stairs. Theres three floors of stairs each has about 470 on each..." Breda said gloomily.  
>"Well we better get climbing then!"<p>

100 stairs later.

"Im Hungry!" Breda moans.  
>"Your Always hungry!"<br>"I know!"

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One floor later.

"Yes! first floor completed! Im really pumped up now! What about you Breda!... Breda?"

"Down ..here.."  
>Havoc looked down to the floor. Breda was sprawled over several stairs.<br>"You OK?" Havoc said cautiously as he gently kicked Breda's shoulder.  
>"What does it look like Havo" was all that Breda could say with what little breathe he had left.<br>" I didn't think you where This unfit!" Havoc joked.  
>"Piss off!"<br>"Fine i will!" Havoc said stubbornly as he walked up two stairs. "You seriously not coming?"  
>"Leave me here to sleep!"<br>"Its only been 400 and som'in steps!"  
>"ONLY!"<br>"Quit your stupid Barking! Your acting like an overweight sheepdog who wont chase sheep!"

Breda hated being refereed to as a dog. So he made pretend snoring sound so that Havoc would shut up.  
>"Come on I'm Not that stupid! I can clearly see that your your awake!"<br>.

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"Wait..are you awake?" Havoc questioned.

Breda actually was asleep. "Breda get up... Breda?"

Jean gave up and sat down on the step he was standing on. "He'll wake up soon" Havoc thought.

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><p><strong>I'll Finsh this scene in the next chapter! hope you liked it! please review!<strong>


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